Rinse the Blood Away, I'm Used to It
by Kiba Sniper
Summary: Among the survivors, one is infected, and Crystal watches them escalate.


Rinse the Blood Away, I'm Used to It

"You're infected, aren't you?"

Crystal's throat dried. The accusation hung heavy in the air. The campfire crackled, and gray smoke wafted around the survivors and past the trees. She heard Phoebe gasp, her hand hovering around her mouth, and Quentin swallowed so thickly that it reached her ears. Bobby spluttered something under his breath, his jaw slacking down, and it would have been funny to see any other time. Crystal wrapped her arms around herself, her gaze shifting between the accuser and the accused, the warm, humid air of the night almost suffocating her.

She watched Lili brush split ends behind her ear. Her eyes were narrowed on a person she had considered a close friend. At least, Crystal thought they were friends, but in those times, friendship became an antiquated concept.

"Chloe, take off your helmet, and let me see your eyes," Lili ordered, pointing at the taller agent.

They touched the underside of their helmet. The reflective, orange glass on their helmet shielded their expression, and Crystal wondered if they were glaring at Lili. Chloe traced their thumb around the rim and shook their head, a sigh fogging up the glass, their annoyance unmistakable.

"I'm surprised by your lack of trust. We've known each other for many years, Lili," they said, and Lili's lips twitched downwards.

"I'm giving you a chance to take it off before I rip it off your head," Lili snarled, digging her fingernails into her gloved palms.

"Back the fuck off, Zanotto! If Chloe doesn't wanna do it, they don't gotta do it!" Bobby shouted, hurrying in front of Chloe. He cracked his knuckles, the bandages around his hands dried with blood. Clenching his teeth, he hissed, "If you wanna keep that pretty face of yours, you better shut up."

"Bobby," Chloe said, gripping his shoulder, "it's okay. She's confused."

"I'm not confused! I know what I know! You've kept your helmet on for a week now! Let me see your eyes!" Lili tried stepping forward, but Phoebe leaped off her tree stump and snatched her hand. "Hey! Let go!"

"Lili, Lili, listen to me," Phoebe said, lowering her voice. She rubbed Lili's shoulder. "Let's all just get some sleep. We all had a long, hard day, and I know you faced the worst of it."

Ripping her arm away, Lili wrinkled her nose and narrowed her glare back on Chloe. Tugging at her gloves, she said, "If Chloe doesn't take off that helmet to prove me wrong, then I'm not going to stop. Wouldn't you say that's fair?" She smirked when Phoebe pursed her lips. "You know I'm right. We already had a situation like this."

"H-hey, hey!" Quentin interjected, waving his hands. He glanced over at Crystal, his shoulders drooping. "She's right there, Lili. Not cool."

Crystal avoided their glances and focused her attention to a thick patch of leaves. She crossed her ankles and felt her lips quiver, but she gnawed down on her lower lip to stop herself from whimpering. She felt their eyes on her, exploring her for a reaction, and when Bobby snorted, she felt relieved to hear him talk.

"Yeah, that happened, and it was fucked up, but it's not that same thing. There was actual proof last time-" He jabbed his finger into Lili's collarbone. "-and Lili doesn't have any! It's all speculation from this bitch!"

"I'd like to hear what kind of proof she has to accuse me, too," Chloe said, leaning over Bobby's shoulder. They tugged at the bandages on their forearm, idly scratching them. "When did you start having this...notion?"

"A week ago," Lili said, and Bobby barked out a laugh.

"A week? A fuckin' week? You idiot, Chloe would've turned by then! It only takes a day or two for someone to turn. Seven whole-ass days have passed, and Chloe's still here, talking and moving and thinking for themself." He flashed a bright grin at Chloe, as if he had single-handedly destroyed Lili's argument. Crystal thought Chloe returned it when they tilted their head at him.

Quentin managed to smile, too, saying, "Bobby's got a solid point, my dudes. I think we're all riled up from today, so let's get some shut-eye. I'll even be lookout tonight."

"That sounds like a good plan, Quentin. I'll take over second shift, so everyone will be able to sleep this off," Phoebe quickly replied, squeezing Lili's shoulder again.

Crystal rubbed her knees when Lili sucked down a breath. She sensed the tension between them, her heart thundering in her chest. Not even the calm energy radiating from Quentin and Phoebe could quell the anxiety and turmoil sparking the air around them.

"You're right," Lili said, nodding.

"Great! I'll get ready for my shift," Quentin said, pushing off his knees and standing up.

"It doesn't take a week for someone to turn."

Quentin hunched forward, his first step frozen in midair. He peered over his shoulder at Phoebe, worried. Phoebe huffed out a sigh and gripped her hands together, her voice even as she told Lili to let it go.

"You already said I was right, so what kind of game are you playing? Do ya hate losing that much?" Bobby sneered, Chloe shifting behind him.

"A regular person takes far less than a week to turn. A psychic, however, has a way to resist it." She turned to Phoebe and pointed her own head. "You know what that is, right?"

"Of course," Phoebe said, a defensive hint in her voice at being put on the spot. "We all received that briefing before HQ fell. Anyone with psitanium can stave off the infection. It doesn't last forever, but it'll last up to-"

Phoebe raised her head. Quentin lowered his stance and trembled. They exchanged a look, one filled with sudden understanding, and Crystal squeezed her eyes shut, their shock almost too much for her to handle.

"-a week," Lili finished, Bobby's cheeks turning a shade of pink like the scars on his face and hands.

"H-hold the fuck up! What the hell? That doesn't make any sense!" He shot his finger out. "One! Where the hell would Chloe hide psitanium?" He flipped another finger up, his middle finger at Lili's face. "Two! Lili still doesn't have any reasoning behind accusing Chloe! It's all comin' outta nowhere!"

Chloe rubbed their bandages. They grinded down on their teeth, and Crystal edged closer to the side of her log. She was the only one still sitting, but from her spot on the ground, she noticed Chloe glancing down at her, their eyes wide.

"Take off your helmet, Chloe. I want to see what's inside," Lili ordered, and Chloe shook their head. She slowly raised two fingers to her temples. "Like I said, I'll give you a chance."

Crystal tugged at her collar. She breathed through the spaces in her clenched teeth. Her jaw tightened, as stiff as metal, and the words she wanted to say died in her throat.

"I-I-I can't fuckin' believe this! This is shit! It's shit, Zanotto!" Bobby blurted, throwing his arms out. "You and Chloe have been friends for years! How dare you think Chloe would be lying to us! Fuck, how the hell in that stupid brain of yours did you come up with this shit?"

Sweat rolled down Chloe's neck. They tightened their grip on Bobby's shoulder. They glanced over their shoulder, focusing on a path through the gnarled trees and rotten branches.

Phoebe hurried between them, her arms raised as Bobby swung his arm back, shouting, "Let's settle this peacefully! We can't alert the-!"

Crystal's head snapped over her shoulder, the sudden motion making the others flinch. She stared through the trees, the hairs on the back of her neck standing at attention. Slowly getting up, she walked over to the edge where the forest began. Standing perfectly still, she looked from left to right, her eyes wide, and she set both hands to her temples. Time seemed to freeze as she surveyed the darkness, only Chloe's ragged breathing reaching her as the others waited.

Faint pulses entered her thoughts. Dull aches settled in her brain, coming in at random. She reached out, fingers splayed, and waited until the pain left. The throbbing behind her eyes continued, but when she closed them, she pretended she couldn't feel it.

Lowering her hands, she cut a clean line in the air with her finger. The others exhaled a collective sigh. Quentin fiddled with his scarf, the threads frayed. He was the only one who offered Crystal a smile when she returned to them.

"Let's...let's put this to rest. We can't yell or argue or else we'll attract some really bad dudes," he said, his words making Bobby scoff.

"She better fuckin' apologize. Chloe didn't do nothin' wrong," he demanded, Chloe continuing to look around.

"Chloe's a great nonbinary pal. I'm in full agreement with you, my man," Quentin replied, his thumbs rubbing small circles into his fingers.

Lili brushed her bangs and said, "I'll stop when they take their helmet off."

The muscles in Bobby's arms twitched as he bellowed, "Stop fucking asking Chloe to take off their helmet! Ask again, and I'm gonna rearrange your body so you eat food outta your ass!"

"Bobby, what did Quentin just say?" Phoebe snapped, but he shoved past her and snatched Lili's vest. He heaved her into the air, but she was hardly deterred by his violence. She didn't even scream. All she did was grip his wrist and dug her nails in, earning a wince in return, but Bobby refused to drop her.

"I don't give a fuck about how loud I am! Do you dipshits hear what she's saying? This stubborn chick is gonna get a goddamn fist in her mouth if she doesn't shut up!" Bobby heaved his arm back, but Phoebe latched onto his arm. Glaring back at her, he tried shoving her off, but Phoebe remained steadfast and tightened her grasp.

"Stop it, Bobby! There's a way we can settle this without you lashing out!"

"Tell this bitch to stop accusing Chloe, and I will!"

"I'll tell her when you put her down!"

"Hell no!"

"We can do this all night, Bobby! I'm not letting you go until you let her go!"

"Fine! Fuck you, too, you pyromaniac!"

Bobby shouted obscenities, and Phoebe continued pleading. It seemed like nothing would stop them even when Bobby threw Lili on the ground. Phoebe hurried in front of her, their screaming match escalating as Lili narrowed her eyes at Chloe. Quentin tried interjecting, throwing himself between them, but either Bobby or Phoebe kept pushing him back, too engrossed in their argument to care about what he said.

Crystal's expression was a neutral mask as she turned to Chloe. Chloe continued scratching their bandages, and Crystal cocked her head, her long, matted magenta hair flowing with her. Chloe rubbed the veins bulging in their neck, a weary moan ghosting past their lips, one that only Crystal could hear.

Crystal stepped closer, and they instinctively stepped backwards. Shaking her head, Crystal offered her hand, and Chloe hesitated, Lili's glare pinpointed on to them. Sucking down a shaky breath, Chloe closed their eyes.

_How long have you known?_

_The entire week._

_Why didn't you tell anyone?_

_Because you reminded me of Clem._

Crystal frowned when they uttered a dry, humorless chuckle.

_That's not the reason I expected. I thought you were keeping me alive out of sympathy._

_You're close to turning, Chloe. You know that, right?_

Chloe slipped their hands under their helmet. They reached inside and cupped something sharp. It poked through the spaces between their fingers as they withdrew their hand. A purple glow emanated from their fist, and when they turned their hand over, Crystal saw it as clear as day.

Clawing out hunks of psitanium, the pieces of tape stuck to Chloe's fingers. They dropped the shards by the fire, Lili's expression softening all the while. They stared at the pieces, breathing shallowly, the silence around the group deafening as they ripped the tape off their hands, bunched it up, and tossed the wad into the fire.

Phoebe clapped her hand over her mouth. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and flicked off her eyelashes when she blinked. Quentin bent over and collected a few of the pieces of dull psitanium, his somber reflection distorted in the uneven shards.

"I'm sorry," Chloe said, and they tore off their bandages to toss them into the fire.

Crystal focused on their bite mark. Coarse, gray skin formed around where mangled teeth had punctured their skin. Bumps rose and seemed like they would pop with pus. It seemed scaly to touch, and Chloe ran their fingers along the wound, Lili miming her gesture.

"Chloe, I-" Lili's breath hitched. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I-I wish I was wrong."

"I understand. There's no need to apologize. You were simply protecting the group after what happened with Raz." They managed a little smile behind their helmet as Lili bristled. "This would have happened eventually. A wanderer from space stood no chance against an earthly infection." They found the courage to laugh, a raspy, whispering noise which made Crystal shiver as if a cold wind whipped her face.

Bobby was speechless. He couldn't take his eyes off them. All of his strength seemed depleted when Crystal looked at him. He tried to say something, but she knew he couldn't. It wasn't like he could tell Chloe to feel better or that they would survive. It was already too late.

"I'm sorry for keeping this a secret. It wasn't my intention, but I really, really did not want to end up like…" They swallowed and shifted their gaze at Crystal. "...Clem."

She flinched, an involuntary gasp and cry leaving her. She stared down at her hands, and she could still see the blood. Although she had washed her hands until they were raw, the blood remained, and so did the rustic stench swirling into his nostrils. The bat left splinters in her palms, little brown dots reminding her of how he flailed underneath her boots as she bashed right through his head. Only mangled bits of teeth, bone, and hair were left behind, the rest of his body being a graying husk that had once danced and cheered with her.

"Chloe, oh, my God," Phoebe whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I thought you said you got that wound when you tripped." She paused, her hands slowly lowering by her waist. She furrowed her brows, sweat beading her brow as she asked, "W-wait, wasn't-wasn't Bobby with you when it happened?"

"So that's why-" Quentin gulped. "-he was so defensive."

Bobby glared at the rest of them, but Chloe reached out to him. They brushed down on his shoulder, their fingers caressing his scars, and they shook their head. Crystal counted two seconds passing before he threw his arms around them, hugging them so tightly that Crystal thought he would snap their spine. It probably would have been better to be embraced to death by someone who cared so deeply than to wait for the infection to take over.

"It's not-it's not over yet. We can, y'know, we can find a way. We can find more psitanium if those pieces were gettin' dull. We got the dowsing rod," he whispered, frenetic. He reached into his hair, but Chloe grabbed his wrist. Grunting, he pulled back and snatched their shoulders, shouting, "Goddammit, I ain't lettin' you become one of those things! There's still time! Why the fuck are you giving up so easily?"

Chloe took his larger hand into theirs. They lowered their voice and said, "Polarissima Australis will be visible tonight. I'd like to see it one last time."

"B-but-! But I-! I don't want-!"

"Bobby," they urged on the point of desperation, "please."

Bobby's mouth hung open, but he quickly closed it and swallowed. He tightened his grip around their hand and reached into his hair. He shifted around for a moment before pulling out a telescope, saying, "Then...then, let's find a good spot. Must be one up by those cliffs we passed earlier. Ain't too far from here, I think."

Smiling, they guided him from the others, adding, "That sounds like a perfect spot. I'm glad you remembered because I didn't."

Crystal watched them leave hand-in-hand. Chloe raised their other hand and waved, keeping their head forward. She supposed they didn't want to outright say goodbye or maybe they didn't want to upset Bobby anymore. If he had known this whole time, he must have been dying inside, and hearing them say goodbye one last time would have been the final stake through his heart.

Crystal knew that all too well. Clem had the chance to say goodbye before he turned. So did Elka, so did Milka, so did Chops and JT and Franke and Elton.

So did Raz before Lili crushed his head mere hours ago.

Lili sat down on the log, the fire dwindling. She tossed a few pieces of stray bark into it and watched it flare, her wide eyes illuminated and shining like jade. Pressing the back of her palms to her eyes, her entire body trembling as she cried.

Phoebe took to her side and wrapped her arms around her. She rubbed her back, whispering something Crystal couldn't hear. She threaded through her long braid and closed her eyes to keep herself from breaking.

Quentin and Crystal sat together adjacent to them. Crystal stared through the fire, and Quentin pulled off his scarf. He gently looped it around her neck, saying she needed it more than him. She tried smiling at him, but the effort was too much, and gradually, as the hours passed and the moon fell from the sky, the pain behind her eyes ceased.

As Crystal expected, Bobby returned with a bloody telescope and a clean helmet.

happy halloween! this fic had a few alternate drafts. it was initially going to be in a diary-esque style from chloe's pov about how they were trying to hide their infection until being discovered by crystal, but it wasn't coming out right. i also kept switching up the characters before settling on these six in mostly crystal's pov. mikhail and jt were initially a part of the drafts. chloe, bobby, and crystal were always part of the fic, and i remembered that it had been a while since i written anything with lili, quentin, and phoebe, so i stuck with them.

this idea came to me in a sleep deprived haze after reading the fic "anataha watashi no taiyou," a dr/dr3 fic by ao3 user instrumentalist. it was written in nanami's pov through a diary about how she was dealing with the end of the world. i also watched zombieland 2 yesterday, so i mashed the original idea of writing in a diary and zombies together until it became this fic. this was written over the course of the day, too, so that might show especially since it's late, and i gotta catch a bus home.


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